It has been a while since I have posted. In fact I have not had a post this year. Life is with 2 kids, work, working out, and side project seem to take up all my time. Everyone is busy, that even my podcast, Underground Inc. have yet to meet this year as well. I started this blog in order to track my Weight Loss Journey but it is now evolving to be my journey out of depression and into the man my parents always knew I could be. So what have I been up to?

Family Update

Well my family is doing well. We finally got our whole house setup. Carolyn has grown her hair out and is taking better care of herself. Kylind is doing well in Karate and playing video games. Charlotte is now 7 months old and she is the joy of the whole house. For instance when, she smiles and plays, she makes the whole house smile, as her happiness is infectious. As a family are finally where we always wanted to be.

Weight Loss Journey

As of Monday I have lost 58 pounds, weighting 308. This journey I started at 366 and have almost lost 60 pounds and I am getting close to being under 300. I work out 3 times a week with my personal trainer and try to stick to my calorie counting diet. My back is doing way better working with a Chiropractor now after I finished with the Physical therapist. As a result, I am able to do a lot more and feel a lot better. When I look in the mirror I can see the results. This is my Weight Loss Journey and the longer I stay the course the more progress I see.

Mental Health

After being on the proper medications for months I can see hope and a light at the end of the tunnel. There are days where depression hits and it hits hard but I am able to pull myself out of it with help from people I love. I finally feel like I am at peace with myself. However, I will be fighting depression my whole life but I feel I can now handle it.

2 Steps Back

My mom always told me that I needed to lose weight and get a better job. I was always content with where i was and to me it didn’t really matter. When July 1st, 2017 hit and we lost 4 of the greatest people I have ever known, I was in complete shock. Most people got to mourn but I did not have time for that. I had to take care of my brother, my family, and the estate. My wife then thought it was a good time to get pregnant because she needed some light at the end of the tunnel. However, I was so deep in my depression and stressed out I could not see any light. All I saw was more added stress to an already stressful situation.

As time passed I saw my wife glow with joy as I felt nothing for Charlotte’s arrival. After understanding this I went out to seek help. I went to therapy, my doctor, a wellness coach, and various other people.Tried all kinds of meds and things but it was not until a month after my daughters birth I got on the right medication. A decision was made that I needed to get healthy for my family so I began this journey. When something as emotionally shocking as 4 people dying followed by the birth of a child happens your mind is in constant crisis. I was lost and I could have chosen one of 2 paths, to wallow in depression to the point where my wife was scared I would commit suicide, or become a new person.

4 Steps Forward

When you lose people that are close to you so suddenly, a part of you dies. You then need to find out who you are without them in your life. So the first step I took was to get my mental health to a good place. Once that was done I got started working on my physical health. I workout 3 times a week for an hour with a personal trainer and track what I eat for every meal making sure I am under calories. Crochet and Minecraft are now my hobbies to calm the mind and provide stimulation. Television became too hard to keep up with so it was dropped as there are too many shows.

It fills like I have become a new person. My wife and I were even talking about me getting a new job and shortly after a recruiter called me. I have now resigned from my current job and will be starting at Ameritas April 1st. Recently I bought an entirely new wardrobe since I dropped 2 sizes in pants and shirts. So new job, new hobbies, new health, new wardrobe, and a new baby. My wife is doing amazing at her new position at her company as well and also is making a lot of changes. I always thought the saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger was rubbish but I think I finally get it.

With all the changes that have been made over the last year I wish that my mom and dad could see what we have accomplished. That they could come and hold their granddaughter and see Ky at Karate. I wish they could see my weight loss and that I could tell them about my new job. These thoughts will never go away but for once in the last several years I feel hopeful for the future.

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